Monday, February 04, 2013

time passes

I'm slowly realizing that I am not very good with handling change.  In the smallest amounts even.  I get uncomfortable when the writers of some of my favorite blogs change their blog header.  Or, the menu changes at a restaurant I happen to love...and of course they get rid of the item I order every time.  Or seeing a new shopping center or development go up in what was once, for so many years, farmland.  No, I'm not good with any of this.  I like things simple...I like to know what I am getting.  I like to be in control.

And, no matter what, in roughly 47 days, this little boy will make his debut and our world is gonna get rocked.  To say I am not scared out of my mind would be a lie.  Are we ready for all those sleepless nights again?  The endless rocking, bouncing, thigh workouts at 3 am trying to relieve a gas bubble while rubbing baby's back counter clockwise as all the books recommend...the swaddling, re-swaddling, get your hands back in your swaddle swaddling?  The nursing every hour on the hour if he's is not gaining enough weight?  The exhaustion.

Everything will pan out 100% different than what I have pictured in my mind.  I know this.  No matter what, time will pass, the baby will be here and more time will pass and we will get through it just like every one else day at a time.  Trial and error.  All while gloriously trying not to mess up this beautiful, innocent little creature.

I visited my sister last week and we had such a great time together.  I love seeing Leila with her cousins...I melt.  I remember like it was yesterday, me and my sister measuring our height in her bedroom closet in the house we grew up in in Dallas, amazed by how much we had grown from the last measuring.  So, to now take a step back and to see our girls together really makes you realize how time passes, things change.

Leila and I slept together in a queen bed for the first time during our visit.  We never "co-sleep"...we "co-cuddle" every morning for 30 minutes and that's the extent of it.  So, last week as I crawled into bed after a busy day and tried to get her to settle down...I realized there was no point in me trying.  She was too happy.  Too excited.  I tried to set an example and closed my eyes...all while listening to  her talk to her stuffed animals and make believe they were going to this place and making that.  Then, I would feel her face half an inch from mine, then one of my eye lids being lifted up, then "MAMA, wake up!"...this would go on for a few minutes and I tried not to laugh.  Close my eyes again.  And in the middle of all of this, she would kiss me...over and over again and tell me she loves me.  My heart.  Finally, really needing sleep, I would turn my back and face the other way hoping she would follow suit and snuggle into a deep sleep.  No, instead I felt her petting my arm telling me "everything will be ok, mama."  As though she could sense my pregnancy induced anxiety running through my head.  The sweetest little being I could ever ask for. 

Finally she did fall the wrong direction of course with her head in my back...but she did sleep.  In those moments of pure love, I really do feel the only way I can explain how I feel about my daughter is that I am madly in love with her.  To me, that is the only way to explain a parent's love.  I don't care what people think, I will say it even if it means someone thinking, "oh, just another mom annoyingly in love with their kid."  It is the deepest thing I will ever know. In all the moments that I have sat on the floor crying, or I have yelled at her then regretted it, or I have looked at her and wondered "who's child is this!?!!"...When I have days that I say, "God, help me" 50 times and I wonder how I will ever get through a desperate moment...time passes, this will pass and I know those moments where my heart goes dancing around outside of my body will come back.

My sister and I were in this great store last week with all kinds of neat signs...and one of them read something like this: "What screws us up in life is the picture in our head of how we think it is supposed to be."  So true.  We can't control anything...time passes and life changes, whether we are prepared, whether we like it or not. 

So, I am signing off for a while and will check in every so often.  Until then, I'm going to enjoy what time I have left with our little girl before the baby boy arrives.  Fingers crossed, God will help me get through those sleepless nights as time passes during this new chapter in our lives.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

one day

There's a house for sale near us with a huge barn on the property. A huge, old barn.  It sits on a few acres.  Apparently my husband said he showed me this house on a realtor's website ages ago and I said "ewww...never, ever".  But, it happens to be the same house I pass every time I go to our doctor's appointments for the baby and while I've never noticed the house, I've always noticed the barn.  And dreamt.  Maybe one day I can have a studio in a barn (heated of course) Jackson Pollock style...full of all kinds of cool jars of paint, embellishments, brushes and massive canvases.  A refuge of sorts.  I have always worked best when I am 100% alone for several hours.  I used to stay up through the night working on projects when everyone else slept.

But, realistically...I am a mom first.  And, I think one day when we may have a house, maybe what would be considered the "formal dining room" can be a fantastic studio that would be kid friendly.  Something where memories will be made and our kids will look back and think of that studio as a place magic happened.

And, maybe one day....when TJ and I are old and gray, I can wobble on out to our barn/studio with my Mackintosh rain coat and boots on, a hot cup of tea...and my imagination.

We are meeting with a realtor this Sunday to consider different options....we may be making a move in the next 6 months-year.  We'll see what happens.  Its exciting to think of what the future may hold...even if it is just to dream.  I imagine a studio as a combination of these...aren't they lovely?!:

Friday, January 18, 2013

jewelry tidbits

So, a few months back I actually won something.  Unheard of.  I never win anything....and this was a pretty good one, in my opinion, since I have a slight obsession with jewelry.

I just happened to comment on a post over on Emily A. Clark's blog where she was featuring jewelry designer, Meredith A. Jackson, and offering up to $130 on one piece of jewelry for the lucky winner.  A winner was chosen at random out of the pool of 219 people who commented and "liked" Meredith A. Jackson's Facebook page.  Yes, indeedy, I was I don't know....but I did the happy dance.  Called everyone I knew and began to sweat when it came to picking something from her absolutely stunning collection.  You have to check out her website here  After much debating, I ended up with these at my doorstep:

They are so delicate looking, but really, they have a nice, solid weight to them.  You can tell they are very well made.  I just love them!

And, her jewelry just made it into the recent People Magazine....check out the photos here on her Facebook Page:  MAJ in people

And, to add to my jewelry obsession...I was so excited today when my friend Jenny surprised me with this absolutely sweet necklace with each of our little one's first initial engraved on the tiny leaves.  (Yes, we have finally decided on a name for this little guy in my tummy....however, we have yet to share it with everyone, thus the turned over leaf....)

She found this sweet piece on Etsy....visit the shop:  lizix26 to view all of her beautiful pieces.  And, if you ever want to add more to a necklace, say if you aren't done expanding your brood, the seller told her you can simply order more leaves.  But, let's not jump the gun just yet.  I just love this necklace though....a lot.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

DIY cornice, I need your help picking fabric!

I know, I know...this boy/girl nursery needs some testosterone.  In my defense, the little man's side has yet to be shown and it does have quite a bit of blue...a little more time is all I need (and some help picking out the remaining window treatment fabric to add more masculinity to the space) and then I will have photos to reveal.

Now...lets talk cornice boards! Don't you love a well dressed window? It makes a room so much more complete and it definitely makes it appear larger. But, really, who has and/or wants to spend the money for custom window darn expensive!  We made cornice boards for the two windows in the nursery over the weekend and spent less than $50 all together.

(This is the cornice board we made in Leila's old room)

You'll need to build the frames (my husband did this, ahem...not me)...very simply, nothing fancy for this project unless you want a decorative edge.  I decided to keep it simple and just went with a straight edge on the bottom...

I found this very expensive looking fabric in the discount bin at Jo-Ann's and I think it was less than $'ll need batting, glue gun and a staple gun.

Glued the batting around the edges....

so that it looks like this when done:

Used the staple gun to wrap the fabric

L brackets to hold them up

and done....there are no screws in the actual cornice boards.  They just fit nice and snug between the ceiling and L bracket.  When I say snug, I mean my husband had to pound them in.  

So, no...a cornice board won't come flying down on our heads as I nurse our little man at 2 am. (lets hope)

Now, I plan on doing a simple curtain also to hide the blinds and to add more pattern to the room (and to create a dungeon effect so that our kids will sleep...and sleep....and get it).  I would like to also do a ball trim of some kind...not sure yet...still trying to figure it out.

Here are a few fabric samples I am toying with...I'm thinking a stripe is the way to go, but I sure do love this first pattern...what do you think?  Too much?

Braemore Spice Market Ikat AquamarineComfy Flannel Houndstooth Blue

 Classic Seersucker Light Blue & WhiteForever Stripe Blue

Or maybe I go with something darker like this:

Classic Seersucker Stripes Espresso             I need your help....what do you think??

Friday, January 11, 2013

A girl's journal

When I was pregnant with Leila I started a journal...a small book to write in from time to time if the urge strikes.  I write in it every few months...and one day, maybe when she goes off to college or on her wedding day...or maybe just one day when she is older and I think she has reached a point where she can appreciate it, I will give it to her.  I wish I had been given a book like this...a sort of guide and understanding from my mother's perspective as I grew up.

I do hope this little book will give Leila some insight into a mother's love for their girl and she will feel and know how incredibly precious she is and to value herself every day.

I'm curious to know if there are other moms out there who do something meaningful like this for their daughters and what it is?

I had the urge to write to our daughter today...and she had the urge to draw. Her book will have character :)

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

The Greenbrier

so much better than these photos capture...I wish I could share the entire weekend with you all.  
It is so, so good here.

My walk towards a heavenly, much needed facial

And, while we were able to relax quite a bit and just enjoy The Greenbrier....this was our view the majority of the time....I must admit:

She just couldn't get enough of this place....the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Thursday, January 03, 2013

Weekend get away....and a framing project in the works

Working on a framing project at the moment...stay tuned! 
My husband's mom gave me a whole bunch of frames she no longer needed. I am in the process of painting them and am hoping to use them mostly in the nursery and one in the kitchen in a creative way.  TJ has some really cool old collectors baseball cards which may be worth something.  I've been trying to figure out how I can display them creatively in the nursery without ruining them...
keeping fingers crossed my idea works!

Meanwhile,  we are headed out tomorrow for a much needed weekend away with my parents to The Greenbrier.  To say I am excited would be an understatement...the whole experience is like creative non stop eye candy and sensory overload which I can handle in mass amounts when it comes to this amazing place.  Some of the things I am looking forward to:


Bringing Leila's swimsuit and letting her splash around in the indoor pool (for some reason the image of Annie running around Daddy Warbucks' mansion comes to mind....we have been watching this movie since she got it for Christmas so I'm sure that must have something to do with it....I don't think she is an orphan)  Seeing that I can barely bend over to tie my shoes, let alone shave my legs, I think I will leave it to Daddy and Me Me to swim with her.

Afternoon tea & cookies in a room like this:

Exploring.....with Leila I am sure 30 yards ahead of me squeeling and saying "WOW"

Eating delicous food, hanging out with my family and just plain not thinking for a few days.  We will call this our babymoon....

We got a new camera and I am trying to learn how to use it, so I will take this weekend to take some photos of The Greenbrier and share them with you soon!

Have a great weekend, everyone!